testy situations

I followed my penis today. It took me into some testy situations

I found myself speaking casually in the street with someone 
I intensly dislike. The reason for this sick farce being 
that our penises had dragged us there to observe these 
other people without penises who happened to be 
cruising past in their automobile

I found myself in a nuclear war waged by a lot of 
other fellows who also happened to be following 
their penises at the time. Somehow we were able 
to construct and utilize weapons of incredible 
devastation. I guess what they say is true 
"Two heads are better than one"        

I've come to the conclusion that a penis is never 
politically correct.  Maybe it was even designed and 
attached by some malevolent diety 
who sits giggling and watching from 
afar as many of us scurry about 
like tumid ants. Lately this has become 
quite disturbing to me. And yetÉ

So if ya happen to be equipped with a penis
And that penis frequently acts as your guide 
I have only one suggestion for ya today
Make sure that penis is very highly trained

Then you can follow your penis today
Where ever that penis may lead you
To untold heights you both may climb
They might even erect twin trade towers in your names

Look mom, it's a penis parade. 
It's coming right up main street in the good old USA
Come on mom, let's follow them. Ow, mom, what's the matter? 
Ooooowwww, mom, you always spoil the fun